“Watching someone else totally go for it can be incredibly upsetting to the person who’s spent a lifetime building a solid case for why they themselves can’t.”
YouTube. This is what I think of when I think about this quote. I started watching YouTube videos my sophomore year of high school when I lived in Germany. I wasn’t old enough to drive, everybody lived in different villages, and when I wasn’t in school or at cheer I had a lot of free time on my hands. But back then, all the videos and YouTubers I followed were mostly beauty channels. And I didn’t wear makeup, I wasn’t very fashionable, and my hair is naturally in straight (for some reason I still straightened it every morning, and had a panic attack if I couldn’t). I wanted to start my own channel so badly, I thought about it all the time but never took any action because I couldn’t be a “beauty guru” so I figured I wouldn’t have anything to make videos about.
I was hooked to YouTube almost instantly. I thought it was so cool for one person to be able to share their life online through videos and that people, tens and hundreds and thousands, even millions of people would actually be genuinely interested! Over the years, many of the YouTubers I grew up watching began to evolve, a lot of people transformed from beauty channels to lifestyle channels which interested me EVEN MORE! “Vlogging” also became a thing which I thought was so freakin cool and it made me wish I had started a channel all those years ago so I would actually have a following and people would be interested in my life.
I’ve always been someone who talks to herself (is that weird? I don’t think so) and since I watch so many vlog channels (okay, not “so many” but they’re basically they only type of videos I watch now) I seem to always find myself (mostly in the car while driving) talking about things in my life or whatever it may be as if I was filming a volg, but still I haven’t taken any action.
Even more recently, especially since starting this blog, I keep thinking about how much and for how long I’ve wanted a place to be creative, share my thoughts and my life, and having something that’s my own. But….. I’m still scared. I feel like I’m too old to start, everybody my age on YouTube is already so successful, I’m nervous about people I know (mostly people I work with) finding out, especially while I’m still new to the whole process of it all. I continue to tell myself all the reasons why I can’t and why I shouldn’t. I’m still hesitant because I seriously have zero idea about what I would even post about, what my channel would even be about, would be make me stand out from other channels and make people interested in my content.
I still don’t know what I will do, whether I will make a channel or not. I don’t even have a camera at the moment! But I am seriously considering the possibility. All the great things that could come of just going for it! I think it would be something fun to do and something fun to learn about.
And I probably should’ve written this post after I make a YouTube channel, so that I can brag about how I conqured my fears and jumped into the unknown! But I’ve already written this post and I haven’t made a YouTube channel yet. Maybe this will be the last push I need to dive in head first, put my fears aside and just go for it! Who knows, maybe there will be a post in the futrue about my progress!