First of all, it’s been wayy too long since I’ve written on here, so I apologize for that. The idea for this blog post popped into my head earlier this week and it’s something that’s been on my heart since then so I figured it’s about time I write it.
The past few months I have not felt like myself. I was becoming this person who I didn’t want to become. I started to care about going out, partying, and drinking (all things I never have had an interest in before, all things I don’t necessarily find enjoyable). I was doing things that weren’t me, I was acting in a way that wasn’t me, I was making decisions that weren’t me, and I was hanging out with people who didn’t know the “old me” and so I felt like that person was lost. I was this new person who I didn’t really like. (Although in the moment, I didn’t realize this). I wasn’t really self-aware of all these changes in the way I needed to be. I kind of just went through each week ignoring any mistakes I made or any action I committed that wasn’t me, just moving past it as if it didn’t happen or it didn’t matter. I recently came to the realization that I was doing this and how unhealthy it was for my life, my relationships, my HEALTH, and my happiness.
I went home to visit my family in the beginning of June and I am so thankful for that. Being around not only my immediate family but also my extended family is one of my favorite things. This was the first step in the right direction in the process of refinding my roots. Being around my family helps me remember my roots, my morels, the things that matter and the things that are important. My family keeps me grounded and level-headed. And this past week has been so good to me. I had a really bad day in the middle of the week and EVERY DAY since then has been amazing. I got some great news, I got to plan out so many adventures for July, I have been in such an impeccable mood for days and I love it.
So instead of dwelling on all the negative and “not myself” decisions I have made, I’m going to talk about all the exciting positive things I am looking forward to in the upcoming weeks.
So, for starters, I got my work schedule for July and I’ll be on 12hr day shift, which means I’ll be working a Panama schedule which means I’ve work a total of 15 days this month and I’ll have 15 days off! That is was what initially set my good mood off because so many exciting things are happening in July.
This past weekend one of my best friends from high school graduated BMT so I was able to see her and her family (who I haven’t seen in 4 years) and it was a BLAST. I love Bailey and her family so so much. I can’t remember the last time I had laughed so hard and it felt so good to be around such genuine people who I actually enjoy being around. ALSO, Bailey’s tech school is going to be right here in SA which rocks because Shanira and I will be able to hang out with her all the time! YES!!
This upcoming weekend Andrew moves down to SA which means this is our last week of distance! I can’t wait for him to finally be here and have that year and a half of long distance behind us. Plus, we can finally start furnishing our apartment!
And at the end of this month my family is driving down to spend the fourth of July weekend with me and I can’t wait to see them (even though I just saw them) and I can’t wait for them to see my new home!
Then, the day my parents head back home my best friend ever starts her drive down here with her boyfriend and she’ll be here for a week!!! I can’t wait to get to spend some quality time with her, I can’t wait for our boyfriends to meet, and I can’t wait to have her in my home!
I’ve got so many fun adventures planned out and I get to see so many people who are so important to me and I’m so excited for all of it. I am so thankful for the timing of everything, for the shift I’ll be on and the days I’ll have off. But most of all, I am completely confident that all that is to come is only going to lead me closer to finding my roots and finally getting back to myself. And there is nothing I want more than that. I’m excited to be able to look back on this post and see all the progress I’ve made. Getting better everyday in every aspect of my life is going to be the best. I am SO HAPPY and I can’t wait to fully get back to who I truly am.