Today I’m just going to let the words flow out of my finger tips and write whatever comes to mind.
I’m not one to get stressed out super easily, and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I actually felt extremely stressed for longer than a day or so. But recently I have been feeling stressed nonstop 24/7. And anxious in a way I have never experienced before.
Here’s what’s been going on.
I’ve written before about anxiety and how I tend to get anxious pretty easily, but there’s always been a reason (most of the time it’s a dumb reason) behind why I feel anxious. But about two weeks ago I started getting anxious for no reason at all. It started when I was driving to Andrew’s work one day and I was terrified of simply driving on the highway. I was super jumpy and scared and it was like all my senses were on high alert. And then the same overwhelming anxiety washed over me a few days later, again while I was driving. And then it happened to me again, except this time I wasn’t doing anything but sitting at home on my couch. And I just felt so uneasy, nervous, off. I can’t really even describe it to you.
And I’ve been extremely jumpy over the oddest things… like I was backing out of a parking spot last week and a car alarm went off and it scared me to the point of (almost) tears. And then earlier this week I was, again, backing out of a parking spot and my music (that I turned on) started to play and it scared the s**t out of me… even though I’m the one who turned the music on, so I should have been well aware that it would soon play. Strange I know.
Not only have I been feeling weirdly anxious but I’ve also been stressed way more than I should be. I don’t really have a lot going on. The biggest thing is studying for my registry non stop, which I know is definitely playing a major role in my stress. But I think it’s more than that, I’m just not sure what. I feel stressed the minute I walk into work, I feel stressed the minute I get home, it’s like one thing after another. And small things! The littlest things send me into a mental breakdown. It is starting to affect pretty much every aspect of my life.
So today I decided I am officially over it. I’m over feeling stressed and anxious for no particular reason.
I’m trying to make small changes and take small steps to help myself. Today I tried to do some deep cleaning and reorganizing around the house to help ease my stress level. I’m trying to take better care of my mental and physical health. I know I have not been eating well and I’ve been dehydrated for what feels like months, so there’s somewhere I can start. I’m trying to stay positive and use my time wisely so I can fit everything on my to-do list in each day.
Thankfully I’ve got Andrew by my side who loves me even when I’m being crazy and acting bitchy. Shoutout to my boy for always being there for me. Always loving me.
I hope this anxiety goes back to wherever it came from, because it certainly isn’t wanted here. And I hope I can learn to manage my stress until I pass my registry next month so I don’t continue feeling like I’ve constantly got steam blowing out of my ears all the time!
If you’ve got any tips or tricks to help a sista out, pleaseee share them!
-Spread kindness, love, & gratitude like wildfire.